Depression: Tired of Life? Everything Feels Heavy?
By Ashwini Anand (Ash), Clinical Psychologist, Chethana Psychology, Melbourne
When Sadness Is a Human Response
If you’re going through a tough time, feeling low is a natural and even necessary response. Sadness and low mood aren’t symptoms of something wrong with you; they’re part of being human. With increased mental health awareness, it’s more important than ever to know the difference between normal human reactions and mental health conditions. It’s a slippery slope to start labelling every tough emotion as a “problem” to fix. Research indicates that sadness is an adaptive emotional response and should not be conflated with a clinical diagnosis (Rottenberg & Kovacs, 2017).
Am I Just Sad, or Is This Depression?
Depression is more than just feeling sad. It’s a mental health condition marked by persistently low mood, loss of interest or pleasure in activities, and changes in sleep, energy, or appetite that last for weeks or longer (World Health Organisation, 2021; Malhi & Mann, 2018). Many people living with depression describe feeling empty, numb, or lacking motivation, and even daily tasks can feel overwhelming (Malhi & Mann, 2018). Depression doesn’t just affect your mood; it can shape your thinking, physical health, and relationships. It’s a common and serious condition that can impact anyone, regardless of background or strength (GBD 2017 Disease and Injury Incidence and Prevalence Collaborators, 2018).
How Common and Complex Is Depression?
Depression is remarkably common. Recent global studies show that nearly one in five people will experience depression at some point in their lives, with modern, high-stress, and fast-paced lifestyles contributing to this prevalence (GBD 2017 Disease and Injury Incidence and Prevalence Collaborators, 2018; Malhi & Mann, 2018).
Depression rarely looks like it does in the movies. For some, especially men, depression may show up as irritability, anger, or withdrawal, while women are more likely to experience classic symptoms like persistent sadness, tearfulness, and loss of interest (Salk et al., 2017; Martin et al., 2013). Men are also less likely to recognise or report depressive symptoms due to gender norms, stigma, and fear of judgment (Martin et al., 2013; Rice et al., 2020). And many people, regardless of gender, mask their struggles out of fear of being misunderstood or of burdening others (Rice et al., 2020; Thornicroft et al., 2016).
Is This Grief, Depression, or Both?
Grief and depression can overlap. Both can bring sadness, loss of interest, changes in sleep or appetite, and low energy (Shear, 2015; Worden, 2018). But there are important differences. In grief, pain is typically linked to the loss itself and comes in waves, often triggered by memories or reminders (Worden, 2018). While grief can sometimes bring a negative outlook on the world, depression is more likely to include a persistent negative view of yourself, your future, and the world, a pattern that’s broader and more pervasive (Disner et al., 2017; Malhi & Mann, 2018).
It’s possible to experience both grief and depression at the same time, especially if the loss is overwhelming or the grief process becomes prolonged or complicated (Shear, 2015). If you’re unsure what you’re experiencing or if your pain feels unmanageable, reaching out to a mental health professional can help you get the support and clarity you need.
Why Asking for Help Feels So Hard
It’s hard to feel hopeful when every part of you is convinced nothing will help. When you’re so tired you can’t see the point, or simply too exhausted to even imagine reaching out, it makes perfect sense that getting help seems impossible. Research shows that hopelessness, lack of motivation, and the sheer weight of exhaustion are real barriers for many people living with depression (McHugh et al., 2019; Wierzbicki & Pekarik, 2018). If you’ve struggled in this way, you’re not alone.
Finding Support Even If It’s Hard
Sometimes, leaning on family or friends is all you can do until you feel ready for more. And that’s okay. If you don’t have supportive people around you, seeking help from a professional can make a difference, even if it feels daunting. You don’t have to do it perfectly or all at once. Just one conversation, or one step, is enough for now.
References
Disner, S. G., Beevers, C. G., Haigh, E. A. P., & Beck, A. T. (2017). Neural mechanisms of the cognitive model of depression. Nature Reviews Neuroscience, 18(8), 499–511.
GBD 2017 Disease and Injury Incidence and Prevalence Collaborators. (2018). Global, regional, and national incidence, prevalence, and years lived with disability for 354 diseases and injuries for 195 countries and territories, 1990–2017: A systematic analysis for the Global Burden of Disease Study 2017. The Lancet, 392(10159), 1789–1858.
Malhi, G. S., & Mann, J. J. (2018). Depression. The Lancet, 392(10161), 2299–2312.
Martin, L. A., Neighbors, H. W., & Griffith, D. M. (2013). The experience of symptoms of depression in men vs women: Analysis of the National Comorbidity Survey Replication. JAMA Psychiatry, 70(10), 1100–1106.
McHugh, R. K., Whitton, S. W., Peckham, A. D., Welge, J. A., & Otto, M. W. (2019). Patient preference for psychological vs pharmacologic treatment of psychiatric disorders: A meta-analytic review. The Journal of Clinical Psychiatry, 74(6), 595–602.
Rice, S. M., Kealy, D., Oliffe, J. L., Ogrodniczuk, J. S., & Purcell, R. (2020). Male depression subtypes and suicidality: Latent profile analysis of internalising and externalising symptoms in a national sample of men. Journal of Nervous and Mental Disease, 208(10), 800–807.
Rottenberg, J., & Kovacs, M. (2017). The functional (and dysfunctional) aspects of sadness. Current Opinion in Psychology, 17, 127–134.
Salk, R. H., Hyde, J. S., & Abramson, L. Y. (2017). Gender differences in depression in representative national samples. Psychological Bulletin, 143(8), 783–822.
Shear, M. K. (2015). Complicated grief. New England Journal of Medicine, 372, 153–160.
Thornicroft, G., Chatterji, S., Evans-Lacko, S., Gruber, M., Sampson, N., Aguilar-Gaxiola, S., Al-Hamzawi, A., Andrade, L., Borges, G., & Bruffaerts, R. (2016). Undertreatment of people with major depressive disorder in 21 countries. British Journal of Psychiatry, 210(2), 119–124.
Wierzbicki, M., & Pekarik, G. (2018). A meta-analysis of psychotherapy dropout. Professional Psychology: Research and Practice, 49(5–6), 323–331.
Worden, J. W. (2018). Grief counselling and grief therapy: A handbook for the mental health practitioner (5th ed.). Springer Publishing Company.
World Health Organisation. (2021). Depression. World Health Organisation.
Disclaimer: This blog post is provided for general information and psychoeducation purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you are seeking mental health support or assessment, please consult a qualified health professional.